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Work with your sponsor, treatment center, and 12-Step group to determine which parts of this are right for you. The idea of making amends can stir up difficult emotions. While some people are excited about this process and want to dive right in, others hesitate and even struggle to admit what they’ve done. No matter which camp you fall into, the instructions below will help you to get started on Step 8 and Step 9. Making amends is more than just saying “I’m sorry.” It’s going the extra mile to make things right.

In simple terms, it means taking responsibility for the person you used to be and how you caused harm to the people in your life who care about you. I am very https://ecosoberhouse.com/ sorry for stealing money out of your desk in order to fund my drug habit last year. Remembering how I stole from you makes me sad and fills me with shame.

Don’t settle for an apology.

Loved ones who would do anything to help may eventually be overwhelmed by the reality of addiction. Those in the throes of this disorder behave in ways that don’t align with their values, religious beliefs, or moral codes. They may lie, cheat, and steal to maintain their supply of drugs and alcohol. That’s why the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous call for us to make amends during the recovery process. But what does making amends mean, and how is it different from a simple apology?

However, they may suddenly feel guilty and decide to change their ways. They can make a living amend to change their lifestyle, get sober, and stop stealing from their parent. Make amends when you are confident in your sobriety and ready to face the reality that is the impact your bad behaviors have caused.

Biden makes history by joining striking autoworkers on the picket line

Early in my recovery, I learned neither my son nor my husband was listening to anything I said. My Mom, on the other hand, loves to complain about Ricky’s behavior. Sometimes I can listen supportively for a short period of time. Over the years, in small bits and pieces, I have been able to share small pearls of my Al-anon wisdom. The two men and two women on trial have pleaded not guilty to charges of conspiring to support planned attacks on U.S. law enforcement officers, military members and government employees. They also deny the kidnapping charges leveled against three of the defendants.

In STEP 8, you take time to think about all the shameful or regrettable things you did that hurt yourself or others. Freeing yourself from the past means absolving yourself from the guilt and correcting what you can. Only then can you heal living amends those wounds and resolve the conflicts and trauma that remain. Even if you did everything right, the appropriate measure should be to apologize. So how do you apologize when you aren’t wrong, or rather, if you believe you aren’t wrong?